You decide who is who…
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From the category archives:
Pakistan
Apocalypse in Pakistan Cricket
The Pakistan Cricket Board and everything associated with Pakistan Cricket has been known to be unpredictable, dangerous and baffling at times.
This is one of those baffling times, the PCB has decided to ban, fine reprimand and banish its players today. In all, seven international superstars have been affected.
Why? Because of their demeanors on the forgettable tour of Australia. Irony believes that this tour shall not be forgotten anytime soon. Here is a rundown of the action taken and the reasoning given:
Kamran Akmal: Fined Rupees 2 million for lying to the press that he would be selected for the third test when he was publically dropped by the board. He is also on probation.
As if his glove work isn’t always on probation. Read on, the younger brother isn’t far behind.
Umar Akmal: Fined Rupees 3 million for feigning an injury in protest, allegedly for his brother Kamran getting the axe. Also on probation.
Aah, brotherly love. The parents would be so proud. I am not.
Shahid Afridi: Bitegate. Hate the name. Love the incident. Shahid Bhai ate the ball as if there was no tomorrow. Now the tomorrow has dawned and he has been fined Rupees 3 million. He is not on probation.
Dare they put him on probation. He is too talented to be missed out on. But so are the remaining people in the list. They haven’t been spared. Keep reading.
Rana Naved-ul-Hasan and Shoaib Malik: Handed a 1 year ban from international cricket, as well as a 2 million Rupee fine each. Indiscipline seems to be the reasoning given.
Talent is being taken to the cleaners today. But it is the player’s fault, isn’t it? Is it? Wait, there is more where these two came from.
Younis Khan and Mohd. Yousuf: Barred from playing international cricket from THIS POINT ON. Yes, you read it right. This seems to be a accumulative crime because it is hard to imagine a Pakistan team without one of these two.
I agree in this case. You cannot treat National Captaincy as a joke. Or an apple. You cannot say that you don’t want to play. What’s the point of growing up learning the game then? They had it coming.
7 players, 4 of which have been banned for a minimum of a year. 2 of them for a lifetime.
I don’t know whether it is a good or bad sign for Pakistan Cricket. Only time will tell, but my gut feeling says it feels like a sign of positive things to come. I could be wrong. It could be a sign of players fearing all action. Of days of dreading the national board. Wait and watch.
And yeah, what do you think?
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…this is politically incorrect and very offensive.
Yousurf (stroking his beard, looking bemused): Shahid, why did you do what you did earlier?
Afready (eating an apple): What are you talking about Yousurf?
Yousurf(now starting to tug on his beard and get annoyed): The ball. You know we don’t make things like that obvious.
Afready (chewing the apple chunk he bit off): But we were so crap in the first innings. I had to do something.
Yousurf (getting increasingly annoyed and now walking in circles while stroking his beard): No, Shahid. You do not do that. We always keep it hidden so we can claim we don’t know what we are talking about.
Afready (taking another bite of the apple): Oh you mean the biting of the ball.
Yousurf (puts his head in his hands): Yes, Shahid.
Afready (smiling): I just wanted to know p$$k tastes like.
Yousurf (going funny colours): What are you going to tell the press?
Afready: That I am ashamed, of course. We are not allowed to eat p$$k.
****Disclaimer**** Paddle Sweep is aware of how far fetched this conversation is and that it is politically incorrect. This is also so far from the truth it couldn’t be anymore false. Please note the mis-spelling of the names. It’s a parody. We do not endorse, nor believe in whatever this post entails
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the buzz in the blogosphere today has been the issue of pakistani players not being picked up by franchisees in the IPL Auction. I say that it was a fair call. The teams were justified, IMHO for not spending money on players from across the border.
WHY? The secular, freedom loving, peaceful being inside you just asked. How can I say this at a time, when the whole world has been blogging, face-booking and tweeting in support of the contrary.
The only explanation I have right now also happens to be the most plausible one. It goes by the name of Return of Investment.
These franchisees are owned by multi-million dollar companies and individuals. The least that they fathom is to know how to manage their hard earned money. Buying a player, that too for just one year (it is important not to forget that all the player contracts will be churned after this season ends), becomes a very important call.
A Call not just justified by the player’s popularity, or just his talent. The driving factors in such a scenario are ‘utility’ and ‘availability’. The latter is where the team owners were in a fix regarding the players from Pakistan.
While Shahid Afridi would have been in everyone’s dream team, the reason why he was not picked is because the franchisees knew that the current India-Pakistan diplomatic stand is unclear to say the least. What if, at the last moment, the Pakistani players are not allowed to cross the border?
Who will account for the money lost then?
What say you?
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