The day Clarke finally made runs, they meant nothing. Nothing more than saving Australia little bit of embarrassment but not much, really. Considering Pup averages 52.62 against England with six fifties and four hundreds under the belt, he’s had a pretty shit start to the season.
Clarke’s played 10 games this year and score 714 – not half bad, right? Wrong. The only team Clarke really ‘made runs’ against this season, was New Zealand. Pakistan don’t count since we don’t know who got paid to drop who or who got paid not to get who out. Eliminate the matches Australia played against Pakistan from the matches played equation for 2010 and Clarke’s record is looking pretty bleak.
Who is to blame for Clarke’s slump in form? It’s none other than my arch nemesis: Lara Bingle.
The Clarke-Bingle relationship was doomed from the start. They had absolutely nothing in common (unless you count her as a looker). Other than that, they’re both Australian but we all know that Australian-Australian relationships are typically doomed. Which is why Jrod, Kirby, Beggy G and most other Aussies who returned to the land they were exiled from ended up marrying Poms.
The relationship only officially ended in March 2010 but reports were going around that Bingle was doing the dirty all across the country while Clarke was away on tour.
There has been a serious slump in form since they broke up. Fact.
Solution? Fly me to Australia. I’ll console him.
Alternatively, we can cover all cricket balls with her face. So he can hit them really, really, really hard.