….the Cute XI Test squad. It’s been so long since I worked on my Cute XI – the last time I worked on this I still thought Graeme Swann was a sexy cricketer. Not that he isn’t – there are just better options. Anyway. Luke Wright features possibly for no other reason than me having seen him without his shirt on when England toured here and when he walked past me, I could see his [...]

With Michael Clarke being stripped of the captaincy gig and the Cute XI left in disarray, the latest Hottie Elect – Daniel Vettori was more than welcome to step up to the plate. Paddlesweep came under fire recently for selecting Daniel Luca Vettori as its new captain but there are more than enough reasons why this is the man for the job. Vettori is the cool and calm kind. I don’t think I have ever [...]

….of the Cute XI. The cricketing world was shocked on Wednesday morning when the news broke that Michael Clarke had been sacked as captain of the Cute XI. The news came following poor grammar usage on the popular social networking site Twitter where Pup used the term “would of” instead of “would have”. It is believed that his poor grammar has been caused by the Bingle effect. Something which has plagued many sportsmen in recent [...]

Yeah, yeah. This is taking way longer than first anticipated. Have you noticed that I have not picked a single Saffa for the AP XI? Let me reveal the wicketkeeper, ladies and gentleman: Kumar Sangakarra. He’s best known for that time he taunted and tortured the Saffas with that 624 run partnership with Mahela Jayawardne. He’s not half behind behind the stumps, either. age of 17. He is the thinking-woman’s eye candy, along with his [...]

Ladies and gentlemen….let me introduce to you the captain of the AP XI. It’s like treason for me and I would never take him home to meet my mother – I probably wouldn’t even date him since he epitomises jock, that popped collar, that cheeky grin, that tattoo on his arm. That shaved head. No matter what, though, Michael Clarke just absolutely ooooooozes sex appeal. The 28-yeard old with the golden locks and the perfect [...]

He looks a bit like the tattooed bad boy your mother would hate and your father would ban you from seeing. And some times he is, some times when he bats properly and doesn’t fail at the top of the order. McCullum can also be a bit arrogant and he does a good job at looking unhappy, like most cricketers. But he’s a pretty good keeper. He has vision that some keepers don’t. No matter [...]

I started this series on my old blog and then I forgot that I started it so I didn’t carry on with it. But now, because I want to create the wrong impression and there’s nowhere else this can be found on the internet really, I thought I’d start this again. My Aesthetically Pleasing XI complete with a 12th man. Over the course of the next few days I’ll be revealing who they are why [...]