the ashes 2010

The PaddleShopper: Give that man a Beer!

December 10, 2010

Australia’s selectors have sprung a major surprise by naming the little-known spinner Michael Beer in their 12-man squad for the Perth Test. I’m sure that wasn’t what Ricky meant when he said… “Strewth, I need a beer”.

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The PaddleShopper: KP, the not so silent Ashes Assassin

December 7, 2010

Love him or loathe him, KP is back. In one innings and with one ball before the close of play, he dealt a killer-blow deep into the heart of Australia. He is PaddleSweep’s Official Ashes Assassin.

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It’s all Bingle’s fault

December 7, 2010

The day Clarke finally made runs, they meant nothing. Nothing more than saving Australia little bit of embarrassment but not much, really. Considering Pup averages 52.62 against England with six  fifties and four hundreds under the belt, he’s had a pretty shit start to the season. Clarke’s played 10 games this year and score 714 [...]

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The new cricket prophet @TheAshes

November 29, 2010

By now you all know about the latest internet meme  – an American girl with the Twitter handle @TheAshes. As mentioned, she has decided to play along and she is now sitting on more than 7000 followers. Some Twits have been a bit nasty towards this more girl calling her names like ‘gold digger’ and [...]

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And so @theashes goes viral (she is the chosen one)

November 28, 2010

While the Pommie batsmen were smacking the Mitch up and giving Australia a lesson in how to bat at The Gabba on day four of a Test match, an internet meme was being born. At the time of writing the handle was still correct, it might have changed in the mean time but here is [...]

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A newbie’s guide to The Ashes

November 24, 2010

The Ashes? What’s that? It’s a Test series between England and Australia. A five-match Test series. A cricket Test match is that thing that lasts a whole entire five  days and sometimes don’t even produce a result (ridiculous, right?). The trophy is the smallest trophy in cricket. It’s bigger than Kevin  Pietersen’s brain and  much [...]

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How to stay awake during the Ashes

November 24, 2010

No matter where you are in the world, Australia is pretty much at the ass end of the world. So, when the Ashes are being played in Australia, we are all rather inconvenienced because of the whole time difference thing that interferes with that whole sleep thing which is vital for that whole work thing. [...]

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It’s bad when Warne feels sorry for you, poor KP!

November 23, 2010

Poor little KP. He has had such a terrible year. Poor little KP has been isolated by the English cricket team. Poor KP is always being picked on. Poor KP, dark clouds follow him no matter where he goes. First in South Africa and now in England. Things have gotten so bad for FIGJAM that [...]

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What the Ashes mean to a Saffa

November 23, 2010

It’s not often that Saffas get to watch two teams we completely loathe lock horns and fight to the death for the smallest trophy in sporting history. Well, it’s only every two years, really. Everything about this tournament is fantastic. It’s everything you got taught cricket would be and everything our great, great, great grandkids [...]

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Australia are worse than Bangladesh

November 17, 2010

Thanks to simple math I have come to the conclusion that Australia are worse than Bangladesh at the moment. It works like this: Australia got mauled by India in India (again, as usual) New Zealand got mauled by Bangladesh (ouch, remember that?) Now India can’t beat New Zealand and Twatajhan is still in the squad. [...]

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