Who let the mongoose out?

Matty Hayden seems to be one disturbed guy after today’s game. As disturbed as a guy is after he as committed to a girl he doesn’t love but is in it only for perennial pleasures.

Everything was going great till the point the dreaded phone call came. Haydos was chilling with his mates down under when the cell rang. After muttering mere somethings about his publicist giving out his number to nothings, he picked it up.

Caller: Am I speaking to Matthew Hayden? Mate?

MH: This better be something good. Go on.

Caller: I like someone who wants to get straight to the point. We just invented a new kind of cricketing gear which is going to revolutionise the way game is played. We are so sure of its success that we are asking retired greats in the IPL to use the said gear.

MH: Is there money in it?

Caller: Yes. All you need to do is say that you are going to use the gear.

MH: I am in.

Caller: One more thing, the gear has a name, it is called Mongoose.

MH: (cuts the call) (to his mates:) more money coming in. I love this time of the year.

Some time passes. Days turn into weeks and its time for the IPL. Matty Hayden is sleeping in late one day, trying to store enough rest in him for the long flight via hong kong the next day. Suddenly, he has a dream. He is holding a mongoose in his hand and walking out to bat. The animal, not the bat. He doesn’t know about the bat yet.

He wakes up, reaches for the morning papers, and there it is:

Amazed at the wonders of PhotoShop, he admires himself for a while, then calls his publicist.

Cut to earlier today, just before going on to bat

As Hayden was padding up, he realised that he was supposed to use one of the toy bats in order to get the money he was promised. He looks into his kit bag, and voila, the bat is lying there, gawking at him from the depths, in a way mocking him. He picks it up, and is about to join Vijay when someone blocks him.

Hayden: What, MS?

MSD: What the hell are you carrying?

Hayden: Its a mongoose.

MSD: No way!

Hayden: Yes way!

MSD: There has been a change in the batting order.  You are batting at 9 today.

Hayden: I get it. But I NEED to use this bat. Part of my retirement plan.

MSD: All right. But only after you score 50 you can change the bat to this one. Now pick something which doesn’t disgrace the seriousness we put into these matches.

Hayden: *sigh*

And the rest, as they say, is history.

The mongoose legend still lives on, only to surface in the next game. I wonder what this guy has to say to all this:

Tagged as: Chennai Superkings - Thoughts from the Dustbin, Deccan Chargers, Hayden, IPL, IPL Season 3, mongoose, MS Dhoni